Kathy and Brandon Gunn have been married since September 1, 2007, but in May, this year, Kathy
wrote a post explaining why they'd waited to open the gift, which was
from her great Aunt Alison and was attached to a note that read, "Do not
open until your first disagreement." "Now, there had obviously been plenty of disagreements, arguments and slammed doors throughout our 9 years," she wrote in the post, which was shared by the page Love What Matters on August 29.
"There were even a couple of instances where we both considered giving up but we never opened the box."
Kathy
admits that they'd avoided opening the box after all these years
because they thought it would have symbolized a failure. "To us, it
would have meant that we didn't have what it takes to make our marriage
work – and we're both too stubborn and determined for that," she wrote.
"So it forced us to reassess situations. Was it really time to open the
box? What if this isn't our worst fight? What if there's a worse one
ahead of us and we don't have our box?!"
In
May, after almost a decade and three moves, they finally decided to
open the box, and found two hand-written notes wrapped around some cash,
as well as wine glasses and bath products. The note to Kathy told her
to buy pizza ("or something you both like") and prepare a bath, and the
note to Brandon said,
"Go get flowers and a bottle of wine."
In
the end, Kathy wrote that they had been enjoying this gift for almost a
decade, even though the box – which she calls "the greatest wedding
gift of all" – hadn't been opened. "I realized that the tools for creating a strong, healthy marriage were never within that box – they were within us."
In an interview with PEOPLE, Kathy opened up about how their story has inspired other couples.
"My
husband and I are in awe of how much attention this story has
garnered," she says. "I had only intended to give credit to my great
aunt and share how important the box was for my husband and I – and the
lessons that it had inadvertently taught us. Now that our story has
gotten so much attention and has inspired others, it seems to be the
gift that keeps on giving!" As for her wise great aunt, Kathy says, "She
is just tickled by how much attention this has gotten – how many people
have shared that they wish they had an 'Aunt Alison' and those that
think her gift was absolutely genius. She didn't realize just how
special the gift was to us until a number of years after our wedding
when she found out that we hadn’t opened it yet. "Aunt Alison was
surprised that we kept it for nine years, then the lessons it taught us –
inadvertently – and now she’s even more surprised at the response our
story has received." And when it comes to their best advice to other
couples when it comes to handling disagreements, she says, "For the
little things, learn how to disagree and move on. For the bigger things,
learn how to get mad and get over it. Giving up was never an option in
our situation because we never had the illusion that marriage was going
to be easy. Building that strong foundation is hard work – but once
it’s set, it will provide a lifetime of friendship, partnership and
love."
